Not surprisingly, I can’t agree with Tiffany on her downside to online dating. I think that, considering the intent, it is better to know upfront that someone is single and looking. If your goal is to find someone who is a dating prospect you will be more focused to ask the questions and talk about the topics that are most important for you in a mate. Sure, it is a bit like you are a commodity but you wouldn’t shop for a car at the grocery store.
Meeting people organically, as Tiffany prefers, is fine for making new friends. That’s how she and I became friends. But at what point do you ask the question, “Are you single?” You get to know someone, find out that you have a lot in common, spend hours talking about your common interests and phlisophies on life. You find that you have the same dreams and aspirations. Maybe, in the back of your mind, you start to think about what it would be like to have a future with this person. Then, they introduce you to their spouse. “It’s like meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife” ~ Alanis Morissette.
To me, time is precious and I meet new friends all the time. Who knows, I may even end up with one of those friends. But I definitely think that I can save time by getting straight to the point. Online dating quickly answers the question, “Are you single?” There just seems to be no point in getting your hopes up for someone you meet organically who may already be taken when people are advertising that they are single online.
With online dating, you have already cut to the chase. You don’t have to ask your friends, “What’s his or her story?” You don’t have to have that awkward moment where they mention their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend as you try to pretend to be happy for them. I just don’t see how being upfront with someone about your intentions can possibly be a downside.
[...] back to the issue of how we look at other people. You’ve made the argument in favor of weeding people out in advance, but I think that’s the very same mentality that leads people to think of one [...]