Comments on: Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth

By: Julius

Julius — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:28:18 +0000

My primary goal is getting things done — and communicating what’s necessary to that end.

If your primary goal is wasting my time, then I’ll treat you the way you’re asking to be treated — as an obstacle.

You’re pretty much proving my point here.

> Does that mean that net efficiency suggests it’s best for you to just blindly enter the street,

Are you threatening me with bodily harm unless I do as you say?

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:57:00 +0000

Julius, your argument assumes a lot. For instance, that saving time is the primary goal in human interactions. And, of course, that 90% is anywhere near representative of the situation at hand.

We could probably estimate that in 90% of cases in which you step out in front of a moving car, it will stop. It definitely saves time to just walk out into the street, rather than waiting around until the traffic clears. Does that mean that net efficiency suggests it’s best for you to just blindly enter the street, since the statistical likelihood is that you won’t get run over? Or are there other factors to be considered, which might alter your decision?

By: Julius

Julius — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:20:03 +0000

If the statistically valid assumptions save time the majority of cases — say, 90% of all cases — and the time lost in correcting the misperception in the remaining 10% of the cases is less than the time saved in the majority of the cases, then there is an argument for net efficiency.

It seems to me that you’re not really approaching this problem logically or mathematically.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:42:10 +0000

I disagree, Julius–I think a person is always best off to begin with an open mind and react based on actual observation rather than making something up and trying to stuff other people into the box. But I wouldn’t disagree so strongly if people were willing to give up their preconceptions more easily. In that case, it might be nearly true that the person relying on false assumptions was “no worse off” than not having made any assumptions. The problem is that most people, having made those assumptions, are unwilling to let go of them no matter what the evidence to the contrary.

By: Julius

Julius — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:19:02 +0000

Absent previous acquaintance with you, the most reasonable course of action is to assume features that you are statistically likely to have. If you don’t have these features, you can correct the incorrect assumption, and the speaker is no worse off than not having made any assumption to begin with.

If you’ve taught math and logic, you should see the logic of this approach.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:30:08 +0000

Aaron, I’m familiar with the science–being the kind of person much more prone to data than emotion. I’ve read and heard speakers on the “differences” on multiple occasions, and every time I have nearly laughed out loud as I heard virtually everything about my communication styles and preferences attributed to men. The “increased understanding” you speak of has created pitfalls for me in the workplace on more than one occasion, as some fool man tried to accommodate my emotions when I wasn’t having any and really wanted to get to the point and get something done. I can read maps; I’ve taught both math and logic; I can’t stand poetry or digression; the descriptions of how women sit and look at one another and tend to touch one another when they talk strike me as more appropriate to elementary school students than adult women. Are the stereotypes statistically valid? Perhaps. But, of course (as with any stereotype), there will be vast numbers of people who don’t fit them, and there’s very little that’s more frustrating than having someone “accommodate” you by adapting to concerns and communication styles you don’t have.

By: aaron

aaron — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:17:29 +0000

sorry tiffany, many scientific investigations have shown that there are physical differences in brain development as a result of the influences of sex hormones which correlate directly to differences in communication style. brains which develop under the influence of estrogen use a far greater number of words (tens of thousands more than testosterone influenced brains on a daily basis) to express themselves. also, estrogen creates far greater connectivity between hemispheres of the brain resulting in greater complexity of both thought and emotion than in testosterone fueled brains. the truth is that many of the stereotypes which society has relied upon to describe the communication differences between the sexes are being born out through clinical studies which show that men who’s brains develop under a greater influence of estrogen than testosterone develop “feminine” physical brain characteristics and communication tendencies, and vice versa. does this mean that it is hopeless to communicate? no. in fact, many people are using these findings to increase our understanding of each other and avoid the traditional pitfalls of male female communication. I suggest a great book called Why men don’t listen and why women cant read maps. I know its an inflammatory title, but it was written by a husband and wife who are both highly credentialed brain scientists, and they were probably just trying to sell books.

By: timethief

timethief — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:45:23 +0000

We all hear gender based cliches daily:

Men want sex; women want romance;
Men are from mars; women are from venus.

These gender based cliches, generalizations and stereotyping always fall apart under scrutiny. On one hand, there are men who are very romantic and there are also women who are too. On the other, there are also women and men who are not very romantic at all.

The men are from mars and women are from venus hype is tripe. It’s used to sell a vast array of both related and unrelated products, services and fuel online dating sites and relationship based blogs. We would be foolish not to observe that many growth industries rely upon the faulty foundation of advertising of gender based sensationalized cliches, stereotypes and generalizations in order to fuel their markets, obtain new customers, and maintain their existing customers’ brand loyalty.

Earthlings seek compatible loving partners