As I logged into my email account I discovered a gentle reminder of my online dating past. I have a few contacts who I struggle to remember and I should probably simply delete. These are the women who, for whatever reason, I am no longer in contact with. At some point we must have thought that there was something good between us.
Possibly there was a red flag or two. Maybe I offended them in some way (if you can imagine that as a possibility). Maybe they offended me (well, that’s even LESS of a possibility). Possibly, there was just no chemistry or spark.
Many of these women I never even got the chance to meet. Some opportunities simply do not birth relationships. My contact box is becoming a laundry list of problems that I never chose to marry (or vice versa). Sometimes it’s good to not get involved beyond a certain point. But what is that point? It may be different for every individual person depending on their investment in the relationship and what they are getting out of it.
Now we can argue over the amount of days or months or years but the value of a relationship isn’t based on the amount of time you’ve invested. I’ve seen relationships end in a matter of hours (when the alcohol wears off) and I have seen them end after fifty or more years. The fact is that problems arise and even good relationships become broken. Now, if it was a car you could mathematically determine whether it was economically feasible to fix the car or buy a new one. We aren’t talking about cars, we are talking about people.
It all comes down to a willingness to make it work. Once that is lost, the relationship either becomes very one-sided or fails completely. If both parties have a willingness to make the relationship work, almost any odds can be overcome. It all boils down to the first question that most marriage and relationship counselors will ask, “Do you still want to make this relationship work?” If either party says “no”, counseling is probably a waste of money.
Read Tiffany’s Response: When Losing Contact is a Plus
