I’ll never forget the day that I tried (in vain) to explain to a man that things are not always as they appear. It was a Saturday morning and I was on my way to the park with my kids when my phone rang. The caller was a young man who had simply dialed the wrong number. At least, that’s what he thought. To this day, I am still convinced that he dialed the right number.
Upon answering the phone the caller asked, “Is Glitter there?” I politely informed him that he must have miss dialed. I was about to hang up when it occurred to me that he wasn’t joking. “I’m sorry, who?”, I asked.
He clarified that he was calling my phone in search of a woman named “Glitter” who he had met the night before. They shared a moment, it would seem, that left quite an impression on him. It was real, he informed me, the bond that formed as they made a connection over drinks in a bar. She seemed to be so into him, laughing at his jokes and touching him ever so slightly when she spoke.
It was real for him but was it real for her? I pointed out to him that “Glitter” is a very uncommon name and the fact that he dialed the wrong number (the number that she gave him) might indicate that he had been lied to. Maybe all that glitters isn’t necessarily gold. He was very hesitant to embrace the possibility that this woman might not be sitting by her phone at this exact moment awaiting his call. Certainly, she must have felt what he felt on that unforgettable evening.
Sometimes people lie to be polite, to not hurt your feelings. Or, in this case, to not have to watch as they hurt your feelings. Would it have been so wrong for her to say, “I had some fun but you’re just not what I am looking for”? That seems better than allowing this man to go home feeling a bond that isn’t real and anxiously waiting for a chance to see her again. He had built this up, in his mind, to a level that far surpassed whatever moment they had shared because she must have felt it too if she gave him her number. But she didn’t give him her number, she gave him MY number. That doesn’t seem polite, it seems downright cruel.
I agree, giving out a fake number is pretty brutal, but it’s the way things are done out in the dating world. I’m not saying it’s right, but most guys should understand that.
A bar is not a great place to meet someone becomes it starts with suspicion.
The woman: “Does this guy pick up girls all the time?”
The man: “Is she this easy with everyone?”
Those doubts and suspicions are sometimes correct, so the easiest solution is: Give out a fake number and move on.
It would be nice if adults acted more like children and just said what was on their mind!!
[...] post “Lying Sucks”, but I figured that Mike had more or less conveyed that with his story about “Glitter”. There are vast differences of opinion on the issue of lying, but there doesn’t seem to be [...]
Greetings from France. I’m wondering if you have any advice on staying out of the “Friend Zone” with women? I’m really tired of girls telling me they “just want to be friends.”