Comments on: It's a Person, Not a Choice

By: Life, Love and Online Dating » Blog Archive » Busy lifestyles make dating an interview

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:01:44 +0000

[...] that finding a partner in life is like finding an employee. I’m just saying that, if meeting someone “organically” isn’t working out, it’s nice top have an alternative. Let’s face it, I’m [...]

By: online dating

online dating — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:35:19 +0000

There’s a big difference between being able to objectively identify someone as attractive and being attracted to that person, and the former doesn’t have any impact on the way you think about a person.

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By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:30:51 +0000

I think this is one of those areas where the way different people think is so different that it’s difficult even to communicate. It might be human nature to act differently with people you’re attracted to, but that doesn’t come into play if you’re…not attracted to them. I’m not talking about putting anything out of my head, but about simply not seeing or thinking about people in that light. About meeting people as humans and reacting to them as humans and attraction not even coming into play unless and until something different starts to develop, usually months (or longer) down the road.

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 03:03:47 +0000

Well, I agree with the last part because our relationship hasn’t gone beyond friendship. Once you cross that line it’s difficult to go back. Not impossible but certainly not easy.

But I think that it is human nature to act differently towards people we are attracted to. Sure, you can put it out of your mind but it has a tendency to sneak back in when you least expect it.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:21:05 +0000

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t think about men sexually when I meet them, and I don’t think about them that way when we’re “just friends”. It would, indeed, be difficult to interact naturally if you had another agenda in the back of your mind–in fact, I think it would be impossible.

You actually should know this firsthand. YOU’RE kinda hot, after all–as much because you’re such a great dad and friend as because you’ve got that “callouses and heavy lifting” thing going on that all men should. But I sure wouldn’t see any reason that we shouldn’t be friends anymore if I were to get involved with someone.

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:46:37 +0000

So basically, when you meet a man for the first time, sex never crosses your mind? You don’t even entertain the thought or possibility of it. Why would you? A friend is a friend, is a friend. And it would be difficult to interact with someone naturally if…in the back of your mind…you were thinking, “He’s kinda Hot”.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:43:18 +0000

See, Mike, I think this is all a matter of the difference in the way that we see people of the opposite sex. In my mind, the men I interact with aren’t prospects for future relationships, so there is no back burner. A friend is a friend is a friend, and if one of those relationships moves in a romantic direction, it doesn’t change the other friendships because they were never based on the possibility of a future relationship.

By: Mike

Mike — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 03:37:22 +0000

But once you move one toward a romantic relationship you shouldn’t have others on the back burner.