One question that I see popping up all the time is, “I like this person who doesn’t like me, what should I do?” I feel sympathetic because I have been in that situation. It’s nice to know that I am not alone in this. The only thing I could do is make my feelings known. Beyond that, there seems to be no way to make the feelings reciprocate. If anyone has the magical solution to make this work, let me know. Also, if you could include Jessica Simpsons phone number I may be able to put this magical spell to good use.
The real question here is “Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?” That’s not a pleasant road to be on because it’s very one sided and a lot of work for you. I found myself constantly vying for this persons attention because they just didn’t think about me as often as I was thinking about them. It became a very unfair playing ground, making someone a priority in my life when I was simply an option to them.
I also found myself to be completely and exclusively devoted to this so called relationship. I was oblivious to any other possible relationship prospects at the time. Instead, choosing to remain committed to someone who wasn’t even remotely committed to me. I was hardly being fair to myself or anyone who may have been more worthy of my attention.
I’m a little ashamed to admit that I wasn’t even being myself. I was constantly morphing myself into what or who I thought this person wanted. Thinking, quite possibly, if I changed myself enough I could have what I originally wanted. The truth of the matter was that I had gotten so far away from reality that what I wanted had even changed. The only constant was the “Who” I wanted but I had no real clue as to why.
Is it really love if it is not returned or is it trying to force your will onto someone else? It doesn’t sound like love to me to try to control the way that a person acts, what they like or who they are. Especially if it means trying to keep up an acting job just to be with the person you think you want.
I’m a man who has similar views to what you expressed above.
I don’t have Children, and I’m in a relationship, by choice. If I’m not treated with respect, I’ll discuss the problem with my partner. If it continues, then it becomes abuse, and I’ll end the relationship.
I’m the only one who can determine what my healthy boundaries are.
And as for me and MY needs, friendship IS required in a relationship. Without it, it’s not a healthy relationship that meets anyone’s needs.
Yeah, I’m not a typical man. But I know who I am, and I’m respected for it.
[...] 23, 2009 by Tiffany In Mike’s last post, he questioned whether love was really love if it went unreturned. It’s a question I’ve heard debated many times, but I think it’s a silly one. [...]
[...] « When love isn't returned is it still love? Should finding love be so difficult? [...]
Anyway, you have a fascinating take on this this particular topic. I’d love it if you updated your blog on a more regular basis! By the way, do you allow your readers to submit to you topics they want to personally know more about? Actually I have a specific question on this issue because I am going through a frustrating situation with a woman I have a crush on and I am not sure how to proceed. I’d love to ask for your thoughts…or maybe someone can suggest a book that I ought to read?
Saul,
I’d be happy to answer specific questions. My email address is ekim941@gmail.com
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Yes. Although this appears to be a spam comment, I couldn’t resist answering it, because I happen to have seen an interview in which a few actors from America’s Most Wanted and similar shows talked about their experiences having been spotted on the street and called in as supsects. I don’t know of any who were actually arrested, though, as it’s a pretty easy matter to clear up once the police speak with the actor.