We make decisions based on the information that we have. When that information is a lie, it skews the decisions that we make. A woman who I had been dating for a couple months told me that she needed space. She said that she was feeling overwhelmed and didn’t know if she wanted to strangle me or have me hold her and comfort her. She didn’t look well and wasn’t acting right at the time. After not hearing from her for two days, I sent her a text message asking, “Are you okay?” I was concerned when I got no reply. I was frustrated and angry when I found out that she was fine and was simply ignoring me.
I didn’t feel like I deserved to be ignored. After all, this was the woman who had moved half her stuff into my house with plans of marriage just a few months earlier. This was the woman who had occupied most of my time, present and future. This was the woman who couldn’t seem to go an hour without texting me or calling me. Certainly, I deserved to know that she was…at least…still breathing.
Had I known that she simply wanted space to pursuit another man, my actions would have been much different. But, she chose to lie to me. When the truth finally came out, what she really wanted was for me to remain committed to her while she dated other men. She got jealous if I even talked to another woman but she was dating other men. I didn’t feel obligated to be fair to a woman who wasn’t being fair to me.
I’m fine with, “This doesn’t work for me” as long as it is the end. Really the end. But I’m not fine with, “This doesn’t work for me so I want you to hang around, not date anyone else, let me date other people and still have you to fall back on if it doesn’t work out because I simply can’t be alone.” In this particular case, it was a matter of what is right or wrong; fair or unfair. Being “nice” has it’s disadvantages and limitations. It’s easy to take advantage of a guy who is “Nice” but, at some point, he will crack. I had reached that point, I cracked, and now you are using it as an example of how my actions contradict my words.
How convenient it is for this woman to tell me that she “needs some space” to make sure that I don’t find someone else. Then, date another man to see if that works out and be able to tell her friends that I “Just can’t seem to let go” because I haven’t moved on. Now that is eating your cake and still being able to have it. So, I’m not feeling particularly bad about sending her five text messages and intruding on her life…sorry.
Hm, You couldn’t even last 48 hours. I go to work for 8 hours after our last argument and I get a text massage from you that read, “Are you just messing with me or do you have a life?” Well, I was working, I do that once in a while…having a kid to support and all that. I think it’s a little ironic that you take this stance about how men try to be omnipresent. I’m guessing that you didn’t see me on Facebook, BlogCatalog or Gmail and decided to text me. I just Googled “Omnipresent” and the definition had your avatar next to it, what do you think that means?
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