I don’t think that we will ever agree on whether, “Your sexy babie” is a compliment or not. I think the key factor for me is intent and I’m sure that it was intended as a compliment. A better approach may have been for this guy to tell you specifically what he found attractive about you but he may not have been able to put it into words, the French call that “Je ne sais qoi”. It’s funny how much better that sounds than “I don’t know what” but it’s a great example of having something get lost in the translation. Which, seems to happen often with male and female communications.
Now, rather than taking this as an insult, you could ask him what he found attractive about you. You may be pleasantly surprised by his answer. I doubt it but I am trying to be optimistic here and you may have simply misunderstood what he meant by that.
Marriage counselors use a technique called “Mirroring” to avoid misunderstandings and improve communications. For those who don’t know, mirroring, is basically telling the other person how you interpreted what they said before you start judging them and acting on that judgment. See, I think that the road to hell is paved with misunderstandings. It seems easier to make pavement than it is to clear things up and mirroring is all about not jumping to conclusions.
If you are interested in someone enough to let them know that you find them attractive, you should be interested enough to be specific as to why. My focus is simply on creating good communications from the onset of any relationship. And what better way to do that than talk about how you feel and why?
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