In her recent post, Tiffany points out that the “friend zone” is a mythical place. Personally, I don’t think that the “friend zone” is a zone at all. I think it’s more of a place in time. It’s a page or even a chapter in our lives where we are simply not open to romantic involvement. That could be for many reasons: we are focused on kids or careers; we are already involved and not in an “open relationship”; or we are simply not feeling it.
For several years I was on a different page than the woman I would end up marrying (and divorcing). Obviously, I wasn’t in the friend zone if we ended up getting married. We were just always on a different page in life. I asked her out shortly after we met but she was dating someone. So, it’s not that I waited too long to let her know that I was interested. She knew right away.
It’s not that she wasn’t interested because she asked me out after breaking up with her boyfriend. I declined because I didn’t want to complicate our friendship by being her “rebound” guy. Which may be another mythical term but, in any case, the timing wasn’t right.
That seems to be the determining factor, timing. It’s a matter of meeting the right person at the right time. Or, when they are on the right page in their life. The pages in our lives are constantly changing, we close one chapter and start a new one. I know that I started a new chapter when I became a single Dad. I was on the friend page for years while I got used to my new role. It’s not that anyone could have done something differently to change my mind. I was where I was.
I liked this post because you lay out the facts so we can understand precisely what you are saying, plus the parting line, “I was where I was”, was perfectly stated.
Thank you, Theresa. We started this blog with the intent of telling it like it is. It’s good to know that our readers appreciate that.