“It’s not you, it’s me”. That has the stigma of being a lie used to let someone down easily. But there may be a lot more truth to that classic line than you realize. Breaking up is typically not easy. At least not for the person who is being dumped. The person doing the dumping just wants out. A very non-confrontational way to go about this is to take all the blame. So, without offering any further explanation, this simple line is the metaphorical “get out of jail free” card.
We’ve always thought that there was more to it than that. Maybe he or she found someone else or there was some major flaw in the relationship that they simply didn’t want to discuss. I know that, in my case, I like to know why i’m getting dumped. Is there something about myself that needs to be improved upon? And experience tells me that, if there was, most women would be more than happy to tell me about it.
I know that I’ve heard people say, “I really shouldn’t do this” then go ahead and do it anyway. Buying something you can’t afford or going out late on a work night, there are times when temptation wins over better judgment. So what if that temptation is leading you into a relationship you may not be ready for? As Tiffany pointed out, there are several reasons that people shouldn’t even consider dating. What if, for example, you are in a messy divorce and meet someone who may be perfect for you, aside from the timing? It would be very tempting to jump the gun and try to make a new relationship work. But when the bitter divorce battle ends up consuming all of your time, you can honestly say “It’s not you, it’s me”. And that’s just one example. In reality, as I read Tiffany’s entire list I was hearing that line playing in the back of my mind.
Photo courtesy dphansen @ sxc.hu
