It seems to be, what I like to call “Swooning season”. That’s not the time of year where people hunt for “swoons”. It’s a time when single people look to step up their game, date more (or simply date). There’s more flirting, approaching and dating going on. I’ve noticed that I am getting approached, a lot lately, by men who are looking for advice on how to pick up women. Maybe it’s because I’m a contributor for a blog that discusses dating. Maybe it’s because I’ve been single long enough to be labeled as a journeyman. Either way, it seems to have an eerie ring to me. I think there are articles, DVDs and late night TV shows that offer tips on “How to pick up women” but I think that’s all a bunch of Hocus Pocus nonsense. The thing is that I simply don’t believe that there is a “Trick” to picking up…anyone.
I’ve heard that women like confidence. Occasionally, I go to bars and have a few drinks. I socialize and have no problem talking to people I don’t know, including women. I like to be social and make people laugh. The thing is that I don’t see this as confidence. There’s nothing to be confident about if you have no agenda. I don’t talk to women with the mindset that I’m going to take them home. Plus, I really only talk to people if I have something to say. Okay, so I almost always have something to say but that’s not the point. The point is that when you don’t have anything to say, its just a line. Lines don’t do much because they are so contrived and transparent that they just don’t flow. “Do you come here often?” What do you say after the one word response you get from that?
I had this discussion with Tiffany about this through email and actually felt like she had an accusatory tone. I’m sure that she was just curious (or trying to catch me in a lie). But she did raise some good questions about social interactions. See, in my opinion, you go to a bar to be social. So, it’s the ideal place to talk to people you don’t know. If you want to be anti-social, you shouldn’t be in a public place where alcohol is being consumed. I go to socialize with people, not just women…people. It may seem odd that I leave my “hopeless romantic” t-shirt at home when I go out but I have heard that you find love when you’re not looking for it. I’m certainly not looking for love in a bar. Yes, I go with high hopes that I will find someone I enjoy talking to. Which may lead to something more developing down the road but that’s not in my sights until much later. It’s all about taking baby steps.
Photo courtesy dinsdale @ sxc.hu
