As Mike pointed out, it is true that most of us form relationships with people we come in regular contact with. That’s not just romantic relationships, but friendships and business relationships as well. There are many reasons for this: familiarity breeds comfort; often we’re in the same place as others on a regular basis because we have something in common; it’s simply easier. This plays a significant role in the organic development of relationships that I’m always talking about, and you know I think that’s far and away the best way to develop a romantic relationship–or any other personal relationship.
But if, like Mike, you spend your work days on a construction site or hanging out in the probation office, there might indeed be limited social opportunities–or at least, limited desirable ones. It’s hard for me to see online dating as a solution to that, though, because in my mind a dating website–especially a free one–is a lot LIKE the probation office when it comes to the likelihood of meeting someone you might want to spend time with. The person looking for love on an online dating site obviously hasn’t connected with any of the people in her real life: that either means that she doesn’t play well with others or that she’s hanging out in the wrong places and surrounded by the wrong people. Neither possibility is very promising. And that might be why, as Mike admits in his post, shopping online dating services hasn’t been much more successful than trawling the probation office.
Sure, a lot of us might have jobs that don’t bring us in contact with single people and most of us who are parents encounter a lot of married folks at school events and volunteering for the middle school dance, but those aren’t the only places available to us in life. And the places we choose to be, the people we choose to surround ourselves with in life, say as much about us as potential partners as they do about our chances of meeting the “right person”.
Yes, life is busy. But isn’t it a little silly to say that you have time to date and form a relationship, but not time to go places you might enjoy where you might naturally encounter people you like and want to spend time with? If you have time for a personal life, have a personal life and be open to what follows; if you don’t, the whole issue is moot because you don’t have time to date.
